Remember, Forgiveness is not condoning the actions of another or, meant to invalidate your feelings. Forgiveness is about getting free of the pain, turning the judgment and punishment over to a Higher Power. In our forgiveness work, we might feel anger at the other person or situation, that is OKAY; it just means that forgiveness hasn't happened yet. In consistently working on forgiveness, it does happen. You will still have the memory of that person or event, but it will be pain free; like watching an old, familiar movie.
"Forgiveness is not the misguided act of condoning irresponsible, hurtful behavior. Nor is it a superficial turning of the other cheek that leaves us feeling victimized and martyred. Rather it is the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past" Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., Fire in the Soul.
"Forgiveness cancels the conditions in the mind that are blocking the full flow of love or life energy. Forgiveness is independent of the behavior of others. It is a free personal choice and an act of free will." (Author unknown)
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself; it doesn't mean invite the person to dinner or to hurt you again. If you choose to continue to be with this person, then allow the things that happened to be gone from you by releasing them when a memory or flashback comes, tell yourself "no,"that is over, I will not allow it to continue to hurt us." Invite the Angels in charge of love into your relationship daily (every 4 hrs). Mistakes are made, lessons learned, and a better way can be found to treat each other. When we know better, we do better! We need not be in charge of judgment and punishment, there is a higher power in charge of that. :-)
Charles Fillmore, founder of Unity (also known as Unity School of Christianity), said that: "sitting quietly for 30 minutes a day, forgiving anything and anyone who comes to mind can cure ANY ill known to man or woman.
The final most important thing to know about forgiveness is that, we MUST learn to forgive ourselves as often and as quickly as possible. When we know better, we do better~ There is NO point in beating ourselves up for what we perceive to be our *mistakes*. It's all part of the lessons our soul came here to learn.
What about those of us who attempt to forgive something and are still in relationship with the person who hurt or abused us? Again, understanding that we DO NOT forget, we have to do something with the thoughts when they pop back into our minds. Those of you who are prayerful, might say a prayer. Memorize the forgiveness mantra, it will come in handy, and should be said again immediately as a memory or flashback comes to mind.
- GAUTAN SAIGAL
